What would you do...

… if you thought it was a good idea to take both your kids to Old Navy, or “Old Maybe” as your child may have called it, and your child threw a big old fit and wouldn’t listen to anything you said, and then when you got down on his level to talk to him about it, he then proceeded to HIT YOU?

… and then, if you took away your child’s toy car because of the hitting, he started throwing a screaming fit while still in the store?

… and then he hit you again?

… and you then dumped your armful of clothes on the nearest display, did the extra-firm upper-arm grab to remove him from the scene and alert him that YOU MEAN BUSINESS, all while pushing the stroller with the other child in it, and he reaches out and hits you AGAIN?

Now, mind you, these are all HYPOTHETICAL examples, because my children are perfect ANGELS, especially the one who happens to be THREE and fiercely INDEPENDENT.

I am just wondering, in the off chance that one of you unlucky saps has been through this. Because I have this friend...

update

So! It was a double ear infection – can you believe it? All this time I was convinced that my poor little baby was suffering from bronchitis or pneumonia, or had somehow turned into a 30-year smoker with emphysema overnight. But no. Instead, both her ears are infected, and her head is so full of mucus that it is draining and making her cough.

SAD.

These kids, I tell ya. They are a mystery. Anyway, she is now loaded up on Amoxicillin and I’m sure will be back to 100% healthy in no time.

Onward! I’m back in the office today, thankfully, because usually when I’m here I can control my desire to eat everything in sight. Don’t get me wrong, everyone who knows me from Twitter is well aware that I crave Fritos regularly, but when the Fritos craving hits me at home, I will rummage through my pantry and eat half a box of mint Joe-Joe’s or See’s molasses chips instead.

(Yes. That really happened.)

Obviously, being at the office has its drawbacks too. Like people in the restroom stall next to you, who are tapping away on their BlackBerry WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY SITTING ON THE TOILET. Now, that doesn’t seem as bad to me as the person at my old office who would floss her teeth in the stall every day after lunch, earning herself the nickname of The Pot Flosser, but GROSS.

(Yes. That also really happened.)

With that lovely sentiment, I will leave you to your Tuesday. Enjoy. And thanks for stopping by. But mostly, stay classy.

good, bad, ugly

The bad news:
I'm home with the poor sick little Delaney today. She is coughing so much, it's just sad. In fact, she coughed so hard over the weekend that she made herself hurl. Twice. It was truly disgusting. Anyway, I got her a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so until then, we are chilling together and spending a mellow day at home.


The good news:
Even though my baby is sick, I got dressed instead of schlumping around in yoga pants and Uggs. (Side note: I now have that song "Humpin' Around" in my head. Thanks, self. Who sings that?) Anyway, the good thing about that is that I am getting so much more done and feel better wearing jeans, a sweater and flats rather than a spit-up stained sweatshirt. I guess those people (e.g. MY MOTHER) who always lecture you about how you feel as good as you look might actually be onto something. Go figure.

Case in point... check out my new flats that I am wearing today. Do you love them? I do!














The Ugly:
So far, I have eaten a cereal bar, a bagel with cream cheese, three See's molasses chips and three cups of coffee. Somebody, help me stop consuming the contents of my snack drawer QUICK.