Monday, February 27, 2006

the goat is loose

I heard someone on TV the other day use the word (and I use the term “word” loosely here) “escapegoat.” ESCAPEGOAT. Being unfamiliar with the term, I wondered: what exactly is an escapegoat? In case you don’t know what it is, I will use it in a sentence for you here:

“I am using this person as an escapegoat for my hatred of bad grammar and the abuse of the English language.”

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

yes, it's true, i'm a valentine's day grinch.

And upon confessing as much to my sister today, I received the following email from her:

"oh bearca, i am so sad that YOU ARE ONE OF THEM. a valentine's day grinch. if i hear ONE MORE PERSON go on about how valentine's day was invented by marketers and money grubbers who want to rake us over the coals under the guise of love and romance i am going to PUKE.

GET IN THE FREAKING SPIRIT! i think this holiday is so fun."

Ain't nothing better on Valentine's Day than getting berated by the ones you love!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

stickin’ it to the man

The other night, my husband and I were able to watch three hours of television in only two hours. “Impossible!” you say. No, my pretties, it is not only possible, it is revolutionary.

And it is achievable through the miracle of Tivo. Or DVR, like we have.

On Monday night, Dave and I were talking about what to watch vs. what to record. Should we watch Skating with Celebrities live, and record King of Queens and How I Met Your Mother? Should we do the opposite? Then watch 24 live? Then, the lightbulb went on over his head.

He said, “I know how we can do it. At 8:00 we can watch King of Queens live, while recording Skating with Celebrities. Then, at 8:30 we begin watching the recorded Skating with Celebs, fast forwarding through the commercials, while we record How I Met Your Mother. After that, we watch the recorded How I Met Your Mother, while recording 24 – and then we watch that. Then, we will have watched all of it in the same night, without staying up too much past the ACTUAL end of 24.”

Sounds complicated, no? So at the beginning, I scoffed.

Then I thought about it again. And I realized that it might be pure television genius.

I turned to him and said, “Now if we do this, there’s no going back. We will not have the luxury of commercial breaks. We must decide that there will be no bathroom breaks, no getting up to get snacks, just a determined focus on the goal at hand.”

He agreed. And let me tell you, it was a magical night. We followed the plan. We watched it all. And we were finished at 10:06 p.m.

Truly life-changing.