Wednesday, January 30, 2008

note from the trenches

Uh, yeah. It’s a week after my last post and there are STILL painters in my house.

The baby’s room is still not ready. Why is that, you may ask? Well, let me tell you! We chose a paint color that turned out to be the equivalent of being inside a gigantic bottle of Pepto-Bismol! So, we just lengthened the project and asked them to repaint it. God bless my husband… he is the main liaison for these painters and has had to be the conduit for our frequent changes and complaints. I’ve given him full approval to blame me for everything.

But guess what? I’m still pregnant. Having Braxton-Hicks contractions every five seconds, but pregnant nonetheless.

And did I mention I’m still at work? What was I thinking? Oh well. I think I can hang on through tomorrow, which is supposed to be my last day. Am model conscientious employee.

Also: am model of calm, peacefulness and Zen. (Dave: zip it)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

stop the insanity!

Hi, all! How YOU doin'? I just wanted to share a few tips on how to make yourself totally crazy when you are 38 weeks pregnant. These tactics are tried and true and I promise, you can make them work for you!

  1. Hire contractors to install built-in cabinets in key areas of your house.
  2. Battle resulting sawdust and be annoyed by the many contractor shoeprints on your stairs.
  3. Have entire inside of house painted, rendering it mostly uninhabitable because all furniture and other objects are piled in center of each room, covered in plastic.
  4. Debate merits of various paint colors with your spouse. Decide on one, then change it, then change it back, then repeat the process.
  5. Get involved in planning two large events for work, even though due to your advanced state of pregnancy you will OBVIOUSLY not be around to execute either one.
  6. Continue ignoring the fact that you need to finish the baby’s room, pack a hospital bag and OMG give birth to a crying sleepless newborn ANY MINUTE NOW.

Et voila!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

there’s a public service announcement somewhere among this drivel

I don’t know what my deal is, but despite several major happenings lately I don’t seem able to update my blog. I was going to write a series of posts to get everyone up to speed, but in the immortal words of one of my favorite movies, “No. There is too much. Let me sum up.” Presenting…

A Bulleted List of the Things that have Happened Around Here Lately:
  • (The week before Christmas) A two-and-a-half hour trip to Labor and Delivery to be monitored. This directly followed an exciting episode of me chasing my runaway child out INTO A PARKING LOT, then tripping and falling in said parking lot, causing some impressive bruising on both knees, one elbow and a painful case of road rash on one hand. Once they hooked me up to the monitors, they found that I was contracting every four to eight minutes. Luckily the contractions stopped on their own and yay, I’m still pregnant.
  • Christmas Eve) Another trip to the hospital… but not for me this time. Two hours after we put Evan’s new big-boy dresser together and brought it upstairs, and before we had gotten around to strapping it to the wall, he opened all the drawers at the same time and it FELL OVER ON TOP OF HIM. He was trapped, and screaming, and I can say without a doubt in my mind that it was the single most terrifying moment in my life as a parent thus far. Miraculously, he escaped completely unharmed save for a bruise on his back. We took him to the ER to be safe and luckily he was OK. Please, please, please, for the love of all small children everywhere, PLEASE secure all furniture to the wall so that you do not have to go through this or worse. Because I literally cannot breathe when I think of what could have happened.
  • (Christmas time) Mellow and uninteresting, and blissfully free of medical drama. Much peppermint bark was consumed.
  • (Two days post-Christmas) Trip to Sea World. Enjoyed by all. Especially small child who was rather enamored of Shamu or “that black and white whale who makes all those bubbles” as he’s known around here now.
  • (This past Sunday) Despite us having largely ignored the upcoming need for potty training, I was awoken by a small voice yelling “Mommy! I have to go to the bathroom!” I took him in to the potty and sure enough, there he went! Now, I’m not so na├»ve to think that he just up and decided to train himself one day, but since then we have had multiple successful potty visits. Score!

The only other thing I can tell you is that I am about a month out from D-Day. Um, yeah. I am so ready, and yet so NOT ready. Two children? At one time? I’m not so sure this was a good idea. But I can’t wait to meet her…