conversations with three-year olds

One of the best things about having a three-year old is that you can have a real conversation with them. Fifty percent of the time that conversation starts off with a tantrum or various threats such as “if you do ____ again, then I am going to take away _____ for ____ minutes.” But the actual conversations that do take place are sometimes absolutely hilarious.

For example, Evan has recently mastered the assumptive close. We’ll be getting him ready for preschool in the morning and he’ll say “When you pick me up from school, we will go to Disneyland.” I will reply, “No, when I pick you up from school we’ll come home and have a snack.” And he will inevitably counter with “We’ll come home and have a snack, AND THEN we’ll go to Disneyland.” Evidently he is well on his way to being a master negotiator (shaking fist at attorney husband).

He’s also got some commonly used terms that never fail to crack me up. If he sees a hummingbird outside the kitchen window, he will point at it and excitedly declare “Mommy, look! A hummus bird!” – a mispronunciation that I think is so cute that I refuse to correct. At least for now.

He is also fond of “translating” Delaney’s coos and gurgles. She’ll say “Gaaahhhh!!!” and he says “Mommy, she said Gaaaaahhhh!!!” And in my head I say yes, Evan, my ears work so I was already aware of that.

For him, the words “last night” and “yesterday” are synonymous with “anytime in the past.” For example, on the way to preschool we drive past the mall parking lot where the pumpkin patch was set up almost a year ago. He often says “Remember yesterday when we went to the pumpkin patch?”

Everyone tells you that time passes so quickly when you have kids. On that count, I think Evan might be right. I remember “yesterday” when he was born, and I cannot believe that this walking, talking, thinking and remembering person is my baby.