because cat furniture can be dangerous in the hands of a washed-up glam rocker

On Saturday night, we got a little crazy and rented a movie. Wild times at our house! My husband agreed to go in and pick it out while Evan and I waited in the car. He came back with something I’ve never heard of – New York Doll. I was skeptical.

It was a documentary about the bass player from the New York Dolls, Arthur “Killer” Kane. In case you don’t know (I didn’t), the New York Dolls was a glam rock band from the 70’s. Evidently my knowledge of 70’s glam rock is sorely lacking. Basically what happened is that the band broke up because someone died, and the other band members went on to further success in music, but Arthur became a Mormon and started working in the Family History Center in the Los Angeles temple. The only person I could think to compare him to was the Grizzly Man. He truly was the Grizzly Man of rock & roll! Even down to the haircut and the way they talked – very similar.

Even though I’d never heard of the movie and the topic was someone I knew nothing about, I ended up enjoying it. It had an incredibly bittersweet ending and he was a sympathetic character. I have to say, though, there was a redeeming moment of unintentional comedy (yet another similarity to Grizzly Man!) that will stay with me forever.

The thing with Arthur is that he was pretty bitter after witnessing some of his bandmates’ success. They illustrated this fact by interviewing Arthur’s wife, who told the story of when Arthur had seen one of his former bandmates in a role as a cab driver in the movie Scrooged. Apparently this sent him into such a rage that he drank a quart of peppermint schnapps and started (and I quote) “beating me with the cat furniture.” After that he jumped out of a window and fell through an awning and hurt himself pretty badly… yadda yadda yadda. The whole story was about him hitting bottom, which is what eventually led him to find the Mormon church and was therefore essential to the entire story. However, I really heard nothing after the comment about him beating her with the cat furniture.

I had never thought that cat furniture could be used as a weapon. We started musing on what type of cat furniture it might have been. A scratching post? One of those multi-story things with the individual cat platforms? Who knows? I may never feel safe in a cat owner’s home again.