hurts so good

In my quest to achieve a supermodel-fabulous* body, I’ve been going to this Pilates mat class at lunch and I love it. I went Monday and now feel like I’ve been beaten about the shoulders and rib cage by a vicious bat-wielding toddler. But in a good way! I’m sitting here slumped over at my desk, drinking coffee and eating a scavenged pastry from the meeting going on in the conference room near my office. What? You think the pastry might run counter to my fitness goals? Hmmm. I digress. Anyway, Pilates is happening again today so I will go, because nothing is more awesome than wearing workout clothes while contorting your body into compromising positions among co-workers.

*and by “supermodel-fabulous,” I mean somewhat less flabby around the midsection, with maybe a defined muscle in sight SOMEWHERE.

changes

So many things about parenthood are different than I expected.

I was never one of those people who adored everyone else’s children. Now, a stroller goes by and I crane my neck to catch a glimpse of the little person inside. (I’m a convert.)

I was afraid of the constant barrage of dirty diapers. I had no idea that soon, they’d be no big deal. Grab a few wipes, clean it up and move on.

I dreaded the lack of sleep. That actually did suck as much as I thought it would – but it was temporary.

I had absolutely no idea how simple developmental steps would blind me with awe. My reaction to watching my child learning how to knock on the door, climb stairs or take a bite of a pear has surprised me no end. The visceral sense of pride I feel every time he does something new is powerful.

I dreaded the lack of time to myself. But now I treasure the few bits of time that I do have, and enjoy them that much more.

I am naturally impatient, and thought I’d be intolerant of a toddler’s timetable. And sometimes I am. But most of the time, I enjoy sitting back and watching him do things on his terms.

I was afraid my house would be overrun with toys. It kind of is.

I didn’t know how much I would come to appreciate hand sanitizer.

I thought I would dislike all children’s TV shows – annoying! But now I find myself humming Wiggles songs constantly. Surprisingly, I don’t hate it.

I’m sure many people have waxed far more eloquently than I ever could about what it means to be a mother. All I can say is that it’s transformed me in more ways than I can count.

because cat furniture can be dangerous in the hands of a washed-up glam rocker

On Saturday night, we got a little crazy and rented a movie. Wild times at our house! My husband agreed to go in and pick it out while Evan and I waited in the car. He came back with something I’ve never heard of – New York Doll. I was skeptical.

It was a documentary about the bass player from the New York Dolls, Arthur “Killer” Kane. In case you don’t know (I didn’t), the New York Dolls was a glam rock band from the 70’s. Evidently my knowledge of 70’s glam rock is sorely lacking. Basically what happened is that the band broke up because someone died, and the other band members went on to further success in music, but Arthur became a Mormon and started working in the Family History Center in the Los Angeles temple. The only person I could think to compare him to was the Grizzly Man. He truly was the Grizzly Man of rock & roll! Even down to the haircut and the way they talked – very similar.

Even though I’d never heard of the movie and the topic was someone I knew nothing about, I ended up enjoying it. It had an incredibly bittersweet ending and he was a sympathetic character. I have to say, though, there was a redeeming moment of unintentional comedy (yet another similarity to Grizzly Man!) that will stay with me forever.

The thing with Arthur is that he was pretty bitter after witnessing some of his bandmates’ success. They illustrated this fact by interviewing Arthur’s wife, who told the story of when Arthur had seen one of his former bandmates in a role as a cab driver in the movie Scrooged. Apparently this sent him into such a rage that he drank a quart of peppermint schnapps and started (and I quote) “beating me with the cat furniture.” After that he jumped out of a window and fell through an awning and hurt himself pretty badly… yadda yadda yadda. The whole story was about him hitting bottom, which is what eventually led him to find the Mormon church and was therefore essential to the entire story. However, I really heard nothing after the comment about him beating her with the cat furniture.

I had never thought that cat furniture could be used as a weapon. We started musing on what type of cat furniture it might have been. A scratching post? One of those multi-story things with the individual cat platforms? Who knows? I may never feel safe in a cat owner’s home again.

B.E. vs. A.E.

Now that I have a child, it occurs to me how I recklessly wasted eons of time before he was born. What did I do with my life? I wonder this because somehow, I feel like I get more done now than I ever did before. For example:

B.E. (Before Evan)
7:45 am – slowly drag self out of bed, lounge comfortably on couch drinking coffee and watching Today show.
9:00 – get to work.
5:30 pm – leave work and go home.
7:00 – eat dinner.
10:30 – go to bed.

A.E. (After Evan)
6:30 am – hear child talking on the monitor. Get up and change dirty diaper.
6:35 – gather up a load of laundry. Throw in washer.
6:45 – play with baby, then get him dressed.
7:00 – take baby downstairs for breakfast. Make coffee and empty dishwasher while child eats.
7:10 – eat bowl of cereal.
7:15 – turn on Sesame Street to allow self to do breakfast dishes.
8:00 – leave the house to drop baby off at day care.
8:30 – arrive at work and do normal worky things.
5:00 pm – leave work, pick up baby.
5:10 – stop at store to get milk.
5:30 – arrive home and frantically pull together something for baby to eat for dinner. (meanwhile, lovely hubby making something for us)
6:00 – eat dinner.
6:30 – go for a quick after dinner walk.
7:00 – bath time!
7:15 – baby goes to sleep.
7:30 – Clean kitchen, pay bills, iron, throw the clean laundry from this morning into the dryer, whatever else needs to be done.
8:00 – blissful TV watching period, often involving consumption of ice cream.

I’m not sure how this happens, but I get so much more done in a day than I used to. It must just be necessity, I guess, but I sure look back and feel like I was a shiftless underachiever. My next challenge is finding time in above A.E. schedule for working out so I can improve my body to previously unknown levels of fabulousness.

Who am I kidding.

life & times

So I’ve been avoiding blogging because my life has been a tad boring lately. Well, I don’t think it’s boring, but there are only so many times you can post things like “on Saturday we took Evan to the park. It was fun. The end!” Because that’s how our weekends go down around here.

This weekend was, predictably, much the same. We did take him to the park. In fact, we took him to several parks! Sometimes I feel like my life is the eternal quest for the perfect park. There must be a large grass area, for proper baby exhaustion. There must be playground equipment safe for the little guys. And there must be a Starbucks on the way so that I can get a frosty iced coffee before we get there.

So anyway. We went to the park(s). We also got to go out to dinner on Saturday night to celebrate my husband’s birthday (which is actually today… happy birthday babe!). We went to Roy's, which was uber delicious. I had macadamia nut encrusted red snapper and a Hawaiian martini. Yum!

Also this weekend: I bought a new pair of sunglasses, I learned that Whoorl wasn’t kidding about the delicious cupcakes they have at this place, and Evan now knows how to say "turtle."

It was a winner.

covered

You know when you wear a pair of new shoes to work? And at about 8:05 a.m., you start feeling this painful rubbing against your heel? And then, you dig in your desk drawer for a band-aid and put it on, only to find that eight minutes later, after walking 12 feet to the conference room, your shoe has shoved the band-aid so that it rides up and uncovers the sore spot? Then, you go to the first aid kit in the kitchen and stock up on bandages so you can experiment with interesting and creative new band-aid placements. Like for example… the double. Or the perpendicular cross. Or, the configuration that I am currently experimenting with: the knuckle bandage placed over a standard bandage for more coverage. I am sporting this attractive band-aid mélange on both feet right now. Such is my life.

evan's dictionary

Here is a comprehensive guide to understanding the words that come out of my son’s mouth, listed in alphabetical order by pronunciation.

a-bah -> ball (said constantly and repeated multiple times when he spots any kind of ball)
ba-ba -> bye-bye
bwis -> books
cancake -> pancake
canket -> blanket
da mor -> good morning
down -> down (said repeatedly every morning when he’s awake and wants to be rescued from his crib)
gowah -> go for a walk
ice -> outside
kah -> rock (repeated ad nauseum when he sees a rock of any size… who knows, maybe he’ll grow up to be a geologist)
mo -> more
ni-ni -> night-night
pwis -> please (said sparingly)
yi-yo -> lion

Voila!