Monday, June 09, 2008


So apparently I've been getting a tad bit too cocky about my ability to manage two small children. "This is a breeze!" I actually thought to myself yesterday. Well, today the universe has conspired to set me straight. Why am I surprised by that?

Today's Parental Dilemma #1

Question: when confronted with a three-year-old with visibly peanut-buttery hands, and a four-month-old infant who has just had a poop blowout of epic proportions covering both her clothing and the play mat she was lying on, WHICH DO YOU DEAL WITH FIRST?

Answer: This one is easy. Peanut butter hands trump a poop blowout, only because infant's limited mobility means her mess, although more disgusting, will be fairly well contained. However, freshly painted walls mean the peanut butter must be removed STAT.

Today's Parental Dilemma #2

Question: When attempting to breastfeed starving infant during older child's swimming lesson, and older child climbs out of the pool screaming and proceeds to throw a tantrum, do you try to stay calm and continue nursing, or do you remove tantruming child from the scene, which necessitates you stop feeding hungry baby, which will in turn result in additional screaming?

Answer: Tough call. However, public judgment of other swimming lesson parents is too humiliating. Must remove unreasonable three-year-old immediately, despite protest crying from starving infant. Shoving pacifier into her cry-hole while shepherding tantrum boy to a less public location is the clear choice, all the while muttering silent obscenities and yet trying to appear in control.

What do you think?


undercover celebrity said...

An excellent real-life-scenario test for us yet-to-be parents...

Whew! Came out with flying colors on the first question. I cringe at the thought of peanut butter walls, carpet, upholstery... my blood pressure spiked, just thinking about it.

Question 2: I'd probably look around at the other parents and loudly demand, "Whose kid is this?!"

little miss mel said...

Dude, you so did the right thing in both scenarios.

Stains on carpets and furniture and public humiliation will always come first!!

Beckrebeck said...

My motherinlaw is firends with you dad. Heard about your blog and our similar situations.