comeuppance

So apparently I've been getting a tad bit too cocky about my ability to manage two small children. "This is a breeze!" I actually thought to myself yesterday. Well, today the universe has conspired to set me straight. Why am I surprised by that?

Today's Parental Dilemma #1

Question: when confronted with a three-year-old with visibly peanut-buttery hands, and a four-month-old infant who has just had a poop blowout of epic proportions covering both her clothing and the play mat she was lying on, WHICH DO YOU DEAL WITH FIRST?

Answer: This one is easy. Peanut butter hands trump a poop blowout, only because infant's limited mobility means her mess, although more disgusting, will be fairly well contained. However, freshly painted walls mean the peanut butter must be removed STAT.

Today's Parental Dilemma #2

Question: When attempting to breastfeed starving infant during older child's swimming lesson, and older child climbs out of the pool screaming and proceeds to throw a tantrum, do you try to stay calm and continue nursing, or do you remove tantruming child from the scene, which necessitates you stop feeding hungry baby, which will in turn result in additional screaming?

Answer: Tough call. However, public judgment of other swimming lesson parents is too humiliating. Must remove unreasonable three-year-old immediately, despite protest crying from starving infant. Shoving pacifier into her cry-hole while shepherding tantrum boy to a less public location is the clear choice, all the while muttering silent obscenities and yet trying to appear in control.

What do you think?

do i have a blog?

Yes, well, it looks as if I do. I appear to have forgotten about it. Is anyone out there still reading this? (echo, echo, echo)

What to report after such a long hiatus? Here are the highlights:

1. I am going back to work at the end of this week. Feelings are mixed on this one. I'll be happy to be back among adults on a daily basis, but I will really miss my time with the baby.
   
2. Speaking of the baby, she officially hates the bottle. Feelings are most definitely NOT mixed on this one. The overwhelming one? STRESS PANIC FEAR.
   
3. Evan is almost potty-trained. HAPPINESS JOY ELATION.

Overall, it has been a nice four months off. I still need to tell you all about my trip to New York with Whoorl, and the fact that I had the opportunity to show my patented Awkward Chopstick-Eating Skills to the entire United States on national television. I might have a new Most Embarrassing Moment. Stay tuned for details!