Monday, November 26, 2007

pants emergency

Being pregnant is no picnic, let me tell you what. There are random aches and pains, it’s difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position, you’re constantly getting kicked in the innards, you have to choke down horse-sized vitamins and you are unable to enjoy a cocktail or glass of wine on Thanksgiving. But my chief complaint can be summed up as follows:

Ill-fitting pants.

Yes, that’s right. Ill-fitting pants, or IFPs, are by far the MOST annoying thing about being pregnant. Trust me, I’ve tried all the options. The demi panel, the low-rise, below-the-belly pants, the non-maternity pants in bigger sizes, the full panel with the giant pouch to accommodate the bowling ball that I’ve apparently swallowed. At this point, everything sags. It’s simple gravity. I hike up my IFPs all. the. time. When I get up from my chair. When I walk two steps. After I’ve grunted attractively trying to pick something up off the floor. The pants-hiking is driving me completely crazy. I’ve come to embrace the concept that the full panel style, however repugnant to me fashion-wise, is probably the most comfortable option right now because it resists the pull of gravity by anchoring above the belly instead of below. But it’s ugly! And it kind of bisects my abdomen in an annoying way!

Yesterday I got so fed up with all my uncomfortable pants that I declared a state of emergency. As soon as Evan went down for his nap, I headed out to the mall to see if I could find an alternative to wearing sweats to work.

Ladies and gentlemen, I located a life-changing pair of pants. They have what’s called a roll panel – so you can roll it down or wear it over the belly. But otherwise, they appear to the naked eye to be normal, reasonably stylish tan pants with a nice long boot-cut leg. And they are seriously comfortable. What up, The Gap? I love you, man. I mean, I hate you in normal times and had sworn off your pants for life, but maybe we can make a fresh start. I'm willing to give this one more shot if you are. Please take me back? Maybe we can just be friends right now until I've earned back your trust.

The long and short of it is that I may very well be sleeping in these bad boys tonight. And even if I don’t, my co-workers will be mighty sick of these in two months.

And that is what I am belatedly thankful for this holiday season.

4 comments:

Janssen said...

There are few things more irritating than hiking up your pants. . . an hour of that and you swear you'll never wear those pants again. Congrats on the good find!

karla said...

The ill-fitting pants saga in my case was complicated by the fact that I'm too cheap to go to the mall and buy a pair of pants that I know I'm going to grow out of in about 14 minutes. It just seemed like a colossal waste of money. So I solved the problem by going naked my entire pregnancy. I was arrested 956 times for public nudity, fired from my job, banned from 18 local stores and 22 local restaurants, and shunned by my neighbors. And I got some kind of weird infection from sitting on the chairs in the lobby of the Department of Motor Vehicles. But I saved a lot of money on pants.

little miss mel said...

you have a link to your fabulous discovery? would love another option!

I have some yoga type pants with the same band thing, but would love some stylin pants too!

hang in there!

rebcram said...

little miss mel - here are the pants of which I speak:

http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=26692&pid=521398

I bought them in the "new camel cord" color, but now I want the gray also!