Friday, July 29, 2005

reeking of beer at 10:00 am

Let me give you all some advice: when you load your groceries into the back of your SUV, please take a lesson from me and DO NOT put your two six-packs of Dos Equis in last. If you do, you will likely open the back of your SUV to unload your groceries, and instead of feeling calm and peaceful and good about yourself because you have completed the odious task of grocery shopping, you will be met with a shopping bag full of beer crashing down onto the driveway beneath you, making an infernal mess complete with broken glass and foaming beer EVERYWHERE.

But as an added bonus, this will leave you smelling like a brewery, which can be fun gossip fodder for your neighbors.

Good times!

5 comments:

undercover celebrity said...

I am SO glad that someone else has done that!!!

I took Mark's 4-Runner to the grocery store the other day and in the two blocks coming back from the store, groceries were strewn ALL over.

I opened the back and the beer came flying out at me.

I certainly did not want to be the one to clean up the amber glass and foamy bits... so...

I walked inside and, being the evil genius that I am, looked guiltily at Mark and said, "I may have done a bad, bad thing."

He, of course, thought that I mangled his car and got a panicked look in his eye. His internal monologue must have sounded something like, "ok, she wrecked my car -- I know I'm not supposed to get angry. I am SUPPOSED to be concerned for her safety. But really, I am going to die inside if she killed my car"

Knowing that he would react in this way. I gave him a moment to let the thought that I crashed his car REALLY sink in. Then I said, "the beer fell out of the back and one broke on the ground."

He let out a huge sigh of relief and GLADLY cleaned it up.

Score one, me.

Carolyn said...

Oh, I've done that too, but miraculously caught it before it came crashing down!

I think I would have cried! Especially after a long day of nothing but feeding, diaper changing and baby soothing!

karla said...

You're such an amateur. If you were a pro like me, you'd drink the beer on the way home, and there'd be none left to spill when you get home.

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