Although this is another post along the "pregnancy hazard" lines, I wanted to call it something different — something gross — in order to illustrate the entire point of what I have come here to tell you today. That point is that at this stage in my pregnancy (e.g., The End), I have lost all compunction about using certain words and phrases, which prior to this fascinating journey I would have avoided like the proverbial plague.
Here are a few examples of specific words and phrases with which I am now completely comfortable:
Mucus Plug (my new personal favorite)
Of course, there are others, but because of my pregnancy-induced forgetfulness I cannot think of them right now. The funny part here is that I am typically quite a tactful and private sort. I hate when people ask me extremely personal questions that are none of their business and I am simply not given to routinely discuss bodily functions. All that has changed. Now I delight in informing others of the status of my cervix on a weekly basis. And the mucus plug? I see pieces of it almost every day now.
Seriously! I know how horrifying this is, but I cannot stop myself from sharing it.
Perhaps it all stems from the time when the ultrasound technician told me I have a beautiful cervix. I must say, I took this as a compliment of the highest order and decided that others should know about it. If you've got a great cervix, you might as well shout it from the rooftops.
I should also confess that my V.D. (verbal diarrhea, for those of you thinking otherwise) has also taken on a darker tone. Like the time when a friend of mine showed me pictures from her cousin's 3-D ultrasound and I immediately said out loud without thinking about it "Oh my gosh, he looks like the Elephant Man!" So much for my self-proclaimed tact. (But really, sometimes those 3-D photos aren't all they are cracked up to be. You can really see some scary angles on those puppies.)
The filter between my brain and my mouth seems to have malfunctioned. Hopefully it will improve after the baby comes, but I'm not holding my breath.