Tuesday, February 22, 2005

pregnancy hazard #290

Almost biting my tongue every time someone I don't know feels free to call me "mama" or "mommy."

Eeeewwww!!!!! Can I just tell you how much I hate that?

It's happening almost daily now. From the guy at work (whose name I don't even know) who says "Hey mama" every time he sees me to the lady at the nail salon who says "Just a few more minutes, mommy" to Lord knows who all else.

I'd just like to state for the record that I am fully accepting of my impending motherhood. However, that being said, last I checked I was neither his mama nor her mommy. (Thank God, because of course my perfect child will know better.) It's the weirdest phenomenon. It's as if appearing pregnant makes you public property. People think it's totally acceptable to grab your belly, ask how much weight you've gained (no, really, I am not kidding about this one) and offer advice as if you either wanted it or asked for it.

I'm still waiting for the sudden epiphany that will bring me the perfect comeback. Until it arrives, I will continue to employ the fake half-smile that masquerades as maternal peacefulness, but in reality is merely forced restraint with a chaser of painful tongue-biting.


Carolyn said...

When I was about 8 months pregnant with my first child, I was standing by the printer in our office when this guy came by with another coworker and said, "Oh, my god, you're huge!" Thanks, buddy. I asked him if he was married and made him promise to never say that to his wife when she got pregnant. Like you, I wish I had a snappy comeback.

Poka Bean said...

okay yes, i can see how all of that would be incredibly annoying but since i am The Aunt, i reserve full rights to still touch your belly and greet the little fellow from time to time. it's only fair if you want me to babysit and change his poopy diapers. :)