embarrassment of riches

Oh, hi. Nice to see you again! So, Christmas was a huge success. We hosted, and it was nice to be home on Christmas Day. We made brisket and au gratin potatoes. Delicious. Evan got tons and tons of toys. So many toys, in fact, that he was on overload and only played with about 5% of what he got. Which led me to complain to my co-workers today about all the toys and toddler paraphernalia littering our house.

And then it hit me. I sounded just like Chandler Bing: “Two women love me! My wallet is too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!”

Seriously, come on now. I am sitting at my cushy job in my cushy town COMPLAINING about how many toys my healthy happy child has to play with. This plunged me into a guilt spiral, but also made me realize: I am truly blessed in all the ways that count in the grand scheme of things, and in many others that don’t.

I wish this for you as well. Happy New Year.

a short dispatch from the holiday trenches

It's 9:58 a.m.

I just ate a truffle.

I'm not proud of it.

But it was sitting there, so inviting, and damn if it didn't taste great with my coffee.

I might go eat another one.

And if I do, I promise not to blog about it.

the spreadsheet

Let me tell you about a little piece of holiday joy I’ve found for myself. I have created a massive Christmas spreadsheet that identifies each person for whom I need to buy gifts, as well as miscellaneous holiday to-do items.

Now, the section where I list the gifts to buy has a sophisticated status mechanism. It features separate columns to identify whether the gift has been received and wrapped, and a color coding system to show when that person’s gifts are complete. I cannot tell you the satisfaction I derive from this spreadsheet. It’s very comforting, because It’s.All.There. I refuse to be blindsided by a holiday emergency. I must anticipate all possible scenarios.

Either I am a control freak (highly probable) or I have spent far too long in Corporate America working for The Man (also rather likely).

p.s. I desperately wanted to post a screen shot of my spreadsheet, but since some of the people who read it are family, I cannot. It’s classified!

for the record

I have to say something. It’s nothing that others before me haven’t said more eloquently. But still, whether for posterity, or for the desperate hope that someday Evan will stumble across what I’ve written when he’s old enough to understand it, I need to get this off my chest.

It is simply this: having a child is the best thing I’ve ever done. I never imagined that watching him grow up would be nearly the delight that it is. The funny things he says, the faces he makes, the huge personality emerging from his tiny body – all of it is more than I expected or could have hoped for.

This weekend, he became even more a little person. He’s always quick to demonstrate his feelings about things. Pancakes? Cars? Trains? Balls? All good. And conversely, we all know how he feels about riding in the stroller. (um, not good.) Then last night, I gave him a bath. When it was time to drain the tub I said “OK, time to get out!” He looked at me and said “Bye tubby!” then followed it up with a question, recognizing what always follows his bath: “Diaper?”

Something about the fact that he gets it, that he understands the order of things, that his brain has developed to the point where he knows what’s coming next, just pushed me over the edge. It’s not that I think he’s more intelligent than all other kids (ok, part of me does think that), but it just seems unbelievable that this baby, this once-helpless being, is now a real person who talks and understands and communicates.

I thought my heart would break, but instead it just spilled out in the form of hot joyful tears that I was powerless to stop. And I was so, so thankful.

blogger ate my homework

What up, peeps? Well, earlier in the week I wrote a particularly awesome entry, which Blogger subsequently ate. I hit “publish,” and it published the first three lines and the rest went poof. It was such an awesome entry that I felt that I needed to recreate it. So I did. Then Blogger did the EXACT SAME FREAKING THING again so I was forced to give Blogger the cold shoulder all week.

But I couldn’t neglect you for long. Hi! However, because the universe (also known as Blogger) clearly doesn’t want me to tell you all about how we rented a Duffy boat on Monday night with our friends, and how Evan fell asleep thereby enabling us to have a grand old time with said friends eating pizza and drinking wine, and how I have bought all my Christmas gifts either online or at Costco (um, what? You don’t call it an awesome entry? Whatever.), I am going to go another way with this post.

Instead, I will focus on how we’re going to get a Christmas tree this weekend. And how I am wearing a headband today. And how cute it is when Evan says “Bye Mommy” when I drop him off at daycare. And perhaps, how I intended to get regular Cheetos at lunch today but accidentally ended up with Flaming Hot Cheetos instead, which are evil and must be destroyed.

Consider yourselves up to date on my life.

VIP

I’m happy to report that our LA adventure was a great success. We had an awesome time, and get this:

I saw Paris Hilton.

Swear! I could hardly believe it myself. Also sighted: Nancy O’Dell from Entertainment Tonight, who was very tall and pretty in real life.

And the hotel we stayed in was uber-swanky. So swanky that it was like a cave with suede covered walls and hardly any lighting. It had the best hotel toiletries I’ve ever experienced. It had a lovely and minimalistic flat-panel TV. It had a hip yet comfortable platform bed that reminded me of an extra-fancy futon. It did not, however, have a hairdryer. I guess people who are of this hotel’s caliber simply do not require hairdryers. As befitting the VIPs we are, we got upgraded to a cabana room*. Apparently people who typically stay in these cabanas have oodles of time to allow their hair to dry naturally while enjoying a sun-soaked breakfast with mimosas by the pool. We, on the other hand, woke up late, ran out the door and ate Jack in the Box on the way home.

But hairdryer or no, we had a fantastic time. We bowled, we people-watched, we drank martinis. And did I mention Paris Hilton?

*What actually happened is that our room wasn’t ready when we arrived. So they gave us a better one. Awesome!

why i love today, by bearca.

It’s Friday.
I’m taking a half day (to go shopping and get my hair highlighted!)
Evan is finally getting a couple of new teeth that’s he’s been working on all week.
Tomorrow, I will be blissfully enjoying a night away from Teething Tantrum Boy.
Which means, on Sunday morning I may even get to sleep slightly longer than 6:00 a.m.

People: it’s all just so exciting. Happy weekend to you.